Christmas Wrapping
by thisfairytalegonebad
Summary: Luffy decides to get Sanji a present of a very special kind. Written for kumiko-sama-chan's Zosan Christmas Exchange on Tumblr, hints of Zosan.


"Two-thousand and twenty-f- oh, Luffy!"

No response from Luffy.  
He simply walked up to Zoro, a blank look on his face.

"Uh, Luffy? Is there a problem?"

Luffy still didn't reply.

"Stop that. You're being creepy. What are you-" Zoro froze mid-sentence, but it was already too late for his mind to catch up fast enough to block the fist that was flying straight towards his head.

"Wait, Luf- argh!"

The fist hit him square in the face.  
Too surprised to make a sound, Zoro fell to the ground. Then everything went black.

* * *

„Stay out of my fucking kitchen, you shitty rubber!" Sanji yelled after Luffy had come flying out of the kitchen and straight into the mast, the outline of a shoe still present on the rubber man's forehead. .

"But Sanji," Luffy whined, "everyone else is allowed to stay. Why are you kicking _me_ out?"

It sounded dead serious, as if Luffy really didn't get why he was being banned from the kitchen. Anyone who didn't know Luffy would've felt genuinely sorry for him, but Sanji sure as hell wasn't going to fall for it!

"_Because _everyone else can fucking _behave_! I don't need you eating all the food the second I'm done with it!"

With that, Sanji slammed the door shut, locking it from the inside.

For a few seconds, Luffy remained slumped against the mast, pouting pitifully, before suddenly jumping to his feet as if he'd just remembered something important.

With a quick glance towards the now closed kitchen door, he dashed off to the crow's nest.

* * *

Inside, the crew were busy putting their presents for each other under the large tree Franky had brought from the last island. Usopp had made it his business to decorate the tree to make it look absolutely astonishing, and Sanji had to admit he'd succeeded.

Now, the presents made the appearance of the tree perfect. They were nine people, and everyone had bought a gift for each crewmate, that made quite a lot of presents. The only ones who hadn't put theirs under the tree yet were Luffy and Zoro.

Speaking of Zoro - where was he? Sanji had seen him last at breakfast, then the Marimo had disappeared to wherever Marimos liked to spend their time. Sanji guessed he was probably lost somewhere.

As if he'd read his thoughts, Usopp spoke up suddenly. "Hey, has anyone of you seen Zoro? He's been gone since breakfast and he hasn't brought out his presents yet."

"Oh yes, now that I think about it, you're right." Nami shook her head. "But no, I haven't seen him. I wonder where he is though," she hummed thoughtfully.

In one smooth movement, Sanji placed a plate full of delicious looking Christmas biscuits in front of her and Robin.  
"Here, my ladies," he cooed, "don't waste your time thinking about the moss head; try some of my biscuits instead. They're made with love and passion, especially for you!"

"Thank you, Sanji-kun," Nami smiled sweetly, taking one from the plate, and causing Sanji to nearly have a heart attack.  
"You're so kind, Nami-san!"  
Just when Nami was about take a bite, the door slammed open, revealing a drooling Luffy who was carrying a huge present. It was wrapped up in what looked like every single newspaper they'd ever read. To be honest, it was quite surprising that Luffy had even had the patience to wrap it that thoroughly, considering that usually he had to literally be tied to a chair to make him sit still for at least a few minutes. That only made the whole scene appear more suspicious and strange.

"Sanji! I want some too!" Luffy cried, his hand already stretching towards the plate.

With full force, Sanji stomped down on the rubbery limb, successfully keeping it from getting any closer to the table.

"Those are for the ladies! The ones for you shitheads are over there. But I dare you, eat them all by yourself and I promise you, you will suffer!" The menace in Sanji's eyes promised pain, and a lot of it. A lesser man would've been scared to death – if Usopp trembling in the corner that was the furthest away from Sanji was any indication – but Luffy didn't even seem impressed by the threat. In fact, he had already dropped his burden the second Sanji had mentioned the cookies meant for him and the other guys, and was now shovelling biscuits into his mouth with both hands.

"Thank you, Sanji," he managed between two bites, and if it had been any other person than Luffy, Sanji could've sworn they'd have suffocated, trying to talk like that.

But Luffy was Luffy, so he didn't suffocate, but instead continued eating like there was no tomorrow.

Sanji was still debating whether to strangle Luffy, or just let it slip for once - because well, it probably wouldn't have had much of a learning effect on him anyway, and also it was Christmas – when Nami asked with a mix of curiosity and annoyance, "Luffy, just what exactly is _that_?"

She pointed to the present that was lying forgotten on the floor. Luffy's gaze followed the line of her carefully manicured finger, then laughed cheerfully. That combined with the biscuits still in his mouth resulted in a spray of crumbs spread all over the kitchen floor.

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that! Sanji, it's your present! You have to open it now!"

Sanji slowly moved closer to the thing, nudging it lightly with his foot.

"My what now?" he asked, somewhat dumbfounded.

"Your present. Open it," Luffy repeated, still grinning like a madman.

By now, the rest of the crew had gathered around Sanji and his mysterious gift, leaning closer curiously. Whenever Luffy did something, it promised to be extremely interesting, albeit headache inducing in most cases.

Sceptically, Sanji crouched down, prodding the thing with his finger experimentally, but it didn't move.  
Well, of course it wasn't. It was a present after all. Presents weren't supposed to move, so expecting it to do so anyway was beyond stupid.  
He shrugged mentally; if it was something that wanted to eat him, he was going to kick its ass then cook it, if it didn't want to eat him – well, where was the problem, then?

"Hm…" There was so much tape that Sanji wasn't sure if he even wanted to know where Luffy had found that much of it. Considering that Nami didn't give him any money on principle, it wasn't very likely that he had paid for it, but well, that _really_ wasn't Sanji's problem.

"Usopp, hand me the scissors, will you?"

"S-sure thing, here you go," Usopp squeaked, eyeing Sanji warily. The threat from before was still alarmingly present in Usopp's mind. Even though it had been directed at Luffy he was sure that it had emotionally scarred him; surely he was never going to fully recover from that!

Sanji took the scissors without taking any further notice of Usopp – for which Usopp was very grateful, thank you very much – and started cutting the paper open carefully to not damage whatever was inside.

Soon he realized that unwrapping the gift was much more difficult than he had thought. Luffy had been very thorough: he hadn't wrapped it in only one layer, but in three instead. And as if that hadn't been enough, there also was the tape that wasn't exactly making the task of opening it easier.

Finally, it looked like he had reached the last layer. He tore it open some more, but froze when he caught sight of something green.

An incredibly ridiculous thought was beginning to form in his head, though it wasn't even that ridiculous, considering that it referred to _Luffy_.

"Luffy," he said, very slowly, "What exactly did you wrap here?"

If he had been expecting Luffy to just tell him what was inside, he'd underestimated him greatly though since the rubber man just pouted at him, "Sanji, it's a surprise. Don't you know how surprises work? I can't tell you 'cause if I tell you it won't be a surprise anymore!"

With a sigh, Sanji went back to work. There wasn't much point in getting worked up about it; he was going to find out soon enough anyway.

Some more cuts were necessary, but then he was finally able to tear the paper completely.

What was revealed when all the paper was gone confirmed his worst assumptions from before. He really wasn't sure whether to laugh or to groan, so he just went with something in between while the others stared at the content of the present.

There, lying on the floor, surrounded by pieces of newspapers, was Zoro, eyes closed and not moving a single muscle.

Around his head, Luffy had tied a large red bow, and there was a piece of paper sticking out of his haramaki.

Sanji reached down to grab it, and read it out loud.

"Dear Sanji,

I hope you like your present.

I wanted to give you meat, but then I accidentally ate it.

So I had to think REALLY hard what to give you, but then I got this awesome idea, so I went along with it.

Have fun.

Luffy"

Sanji sank into a chair, fumbling a cigarette and his lighter out of his pocket.

He lit the cigarette calmly, closed his eyes to inhale deeply, then looked at Luffy.

"Luffy."

"Yeah?" Luffy chirped expectantly.

"Luffy," Sanji repeated. "_Why_ _on earth_ did you wrap the Marimo and give him to me as a present?"

Luffy's smile disappeared and was replaced by a confused look.

"But Sanji, it says in the letter. Didn't you read it?"

"Yes I did," he responded, his voice still dangerously calm, "but that still doesn't tell me why you _gift-wrapped_ the goddamn _moss head_!"

"I accidentally ate the meat I wanted to give you, so I needed to find something else. But nothing came to my mind, so I tried to think of what makes you happy. And then Zoro came to my mind, 'cause he makes you happy. So I decided that you were going to get Zoro," Luffy explained with a bored expression.

Sanji's visible eye had started to widen at the 'making him happy'-part, by now he was already more resembling a tomato than a chef.

"What the fuck are you saying, you shitty rubber? That shit head doesn't make me happy! He annoys the crap outta me all the time! I don't give a flying fuck about him!" he yelled, aiming a spate of kicks at Luffy's head.

In the meantime, Nami had moved next to Zoro to inspect him more closely.

"Uh, Luffy? How comes he's not moving?"

"Oh, that?" Luffy said, having recovered from Sanji's kicks already. "I knocked him out."

"You did _what_?" Chopper screeched in horror, rushing over to Zoro's side immediately. "That's _dangerous_! You can't just hit people in the head! It could cause serious injuries! What were you thinking?!" he cried, quickly starting to examine Zoro's head.  
The fact that he was unconscious was enough to make Chopper worry. Head injuries were always dangerous after all! But he had to focus now, his Nakama needed him!  
"How long has he been unconscious?" he asked, now fully concentrated.

"Zoro? Wait, lemme think… Ah, I'm not sure, he woke up when I was wrapping him, so I had to hit him a second time," Luffy responded thoughtfully.

"You hit him twice?!" Chopper was on the verge of having a heart attack now. It took several reminders of various crew members for him to get his concentration back, once he had finished ranting and shouting at Luffy.  
Not that it had much of an effect on Luffy though, but it was always worth a try, right?

Once he had finished examining Zoro, Chopper declared, "Well, it looks like it's not that bad. Even though Luffy's hit him pretty hard twice, he's only got a mild concussion. He'll probably have a headache for a few days, and maybe feel a little dizzy, but he'll get over it in no time. That doesn't mean you're allowed to knock crewmates out cold though, Luffy! We're going to have a talk about that later, you hear?" The last bit was accompanied with a stern glare towards Luffy, who frankly couldn't have cared less.

Chopper sighed, and continued, "For now, it's probably the best to take him to the infirmary to let him rest and- oh, Zoro! You're awake!"

And sure enough, Zoro had opened his eye, blinking slowly.  
With a groan, he sat up, looking extremely disorientated.  
"The fuck is going on here?" he mumbled. Why was he feeling so dizzy? And why was he on the floor and everyone was staring at him? And why did his head hurt? It was almost, as if someone had kno-

Wait.

The disorientated look disappeared, and was immediately replaced by an incredibly dark, menacing glare. Luffy could be glad looks weren't able to kill, otherwise he'd dropped dead the next second.

"Luffy," Zoro growled in a voice that sent a shiver down almost everyone's back. "What did you do?"

Luffy grinned at him innocently. "Hey, you're awake again! Awesome!"

Zoro's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Tell me what the fuck is going on here or I swear I will throw you overboard!"

"Aw, you're no fun, Zoro," Luffy pouted, "there's no reason to be this grumpy. I just gave you to Sanji as a present, that's all."

Behind the counter, Sanji was really regretting the fact that Absalom had eaten that one particular devil's fruit, instead of him. Being able to making himself invisible would have been _extremely _helpful right now. Unfortunately for him he hadn't eaten the devil's fruit though, meaning he had to endure the teasing looks by his crewmates without anything he could do against it.

"And _why_," Zoro pressed out through clenched teeth, desperately trying to keep himself from strangling Luffy for knocking him out, _and_ for giving him to the _cook_ of all people – who even turned people into presents, for fuck's sake? -, "did you think that was a good thing to do? And why didn't you take the fucking curly brow instead?" He decided give Luffy the chance to explain. Maybe he had a good reason that excused his action. Maybe strangling him would've been completely unjustified. Yes, there had to be a good reason. Nobody knocked out a Nakama for no good reason. That thought was completely ridiculous. Right?

"Oh, that's easy," Luffy beamed, "You make each other happy, and that's what presents are supposed to do! Besides, I couldn't wrap Sanji 'cause he needed to cook the meat for tonight! Just imagine, Zoro, no meat!"

Wrong.

It took Franky, Usopp, several of Robin's hands, and a frantically sobbing Chopper to prevent Zoro from cutting off Luffy's dick and filleting the rest of him carefully.

* * *

Some time later, Zoro was standing outside, leaning against the railing.

The rest of the crew was inside, exchanging presents, laughing, and having fun, but Zoro needed some time to think. The whole incident before had brought up some thoughts that he had been able to keep locked away for a good amount of time now. He silently cursed Luffy for setting them free again, but at least the rubber man had apologized for giving him a concussion.

Zoro wasn't sure how to define his and Sanji's relationship.  
It was weird, because even though the cook annoyed him no end and they fought on a daily basis, there still was something else, besides annoyance. They were close, but Zoro was close to each of his Nakama.  
Yet his and Sanji's bond seemed to be stronger, and different, too. Luffy, for example was like an annoying, exhausting brother to him, nothing more. Zoro was able to identify the relationship they had without hesitating.  
But Sanji…Sanji was… something else, and he had yet to figure out, what exactly.  
That fact pissed him off no end, one of the things he hated the most was not being able to control himself. Ever since he was a child, he had trained his body to listen to him, no matter what. So far, he had overcome every physical weakness that had occurred to him, so not being able to name that unfamiliar sentiment, let alone control it, unsettled him no end.

He continued staring out at the sea, even though it was too dark to actually see anything, trying not to think about Sanji anymore.

A storm had occurred the morning before, but now the water was quiet. Small waves were colliding with the ship, creating a soft steady sound that was oddly calming. In a way, it reminded him of the cook.

…

Damn.

He closed his eye with a sigh, frustrated with himself.

Suddenly, he heard the galley door open with a small squeak.

"Hey there, Marimo. How's your head?"

Zoro didn't bother opening his eye. "I'll be fine. Chopper says it's not that bad."

His head still ached, and the spots where Luffy had hit him were covered in nasty looking bruises, but Chopper had assured him that it was only going to be a few days until he'd be feeling completely fine again. He had, however, banned him from training for some time, and, much to his dismay, from drinking, too, which was why he was currently standing outside with a glass of water instead of booze. That, and because Chopper had insisted that lots of fluids – that didn't contain alcohol – were important after a concussion.

"Hm. I'm still wondering how you can get brain injuries though. One might think your brain's much too small for such a thing," Sanji mused, earning an elbow in his ribs.

"You're an asshole," Zoro stated.

Chuckling, Sanji took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips before lighting it. "Oh, so I've been told. Mostly by you, though."

"Yeah, I wonder why that is." Zoro was grinning now, too.

Blowing out the smoke, Sanji said quietly, "You know, Luffy wasn't that wrong."

"Huh?" Zoro hadn't been expecting Sanji wanting to discuss the incident from before. "What are you talking about?"

Sanji smiled softly. "I guess, in some really damn weird and twisted way, you _do_ make me happy."

He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Zoro's cheek, then turned around, making his way over to the door. "Let's go back inside, shall we?"  
With that, he disappeared through the door, leaving a completely dumbfounded Zoro.

Slowly, Zoro brought his left hand up to his cheek where Sanji's lips had been just moments ago. Then, with an affectionate smile, he followed Sanji through the still open door to rejoin their Nakama who were already waiting for them.

"Sanji! Zoro! Finally! Nami made me wait for you guys to come back, she wouldn't let me open any presents before! And…"

Zoro tuned Luffy's babbling out and looked at the cook. Yes, he thought, he had finally found out what the foreign feeling meant.

* * *

**A/N: **It is done! I have to admit, I'm kinda proud of myself for it 0:)  
I don't know about other countries, but my family always exchanges presents on Christmas Eve, so the strawhats are doing that, too, just in case anyone's been wondering.  
This was betaed by awesome **Ajalea** on here/**orangelies **on Tumblr, depending on where you want to stalk her. She was also the one who persuaded me to participate in the exchange in the first place (and encouraged me whenever I doubted my ability to get this done, which I'm really grateful for!), so if this sucked it's totally her fault :P (Jk, I love you :3). The title is hers as well swince I'm really bad at those.  
Since this is going to be part of a book I'd be really grateful if you let me know immediately if you spot an error of any kind because well, errors in a book aren't exactly nice.  
Thanks for reading:)


End file.
